I am feeling very unsettled at the moment. This has been going on for quite a while. Ever since plans for my mum’s birthday erupted. I think because I didn’t jump in and argue from the beginning which is my usual way and instead sat back that it made things worse, because for a while I was angry at the wrong person.
My plans to take mum off for the day had been scuppered by dad who was no keen on being left out, not that he wanted to come out anyway and of course, comes up with no plans of his own – EVER.
I have felt sad about this ever since. Mum decided that she wanted no celebration at all – no cards, no presents, no cake, nothing. I love a good celebration, I get my Martha books and magazines out and start plotting. I was aiming for this to be wonderful, a proper celebration for the three of us. But it wasn’t to be.
Last night I argued with dad (who is completely to blame for this). And then I cried, lots. My emotions have been all over the place recently and I feel very unsettled.