And by email – approval

‘And by email’ is for me the equivalent of ‘and another thing’.  I write these words onto a post it note everyday for letters at work and I have been thinking about making this into a column.  Its the place where I can rant and question things.

So, just as everything seemed to be ticking along quite well, a friend made a comment about something she thought I had said and ever since then I have been in a bad place.  Although I maintain that I haven’t said anything of the sort, I still racked my brain to think whether I did.  I consulted friends who are honest enough to tell me of my character traits and I sort guidance from Twitter.  Oh, the joys of Twitter – send a question out and someone will often help you.

All say the same thing, that if someone chooses to believe something then that is up to them.  That I cannot change anyone elses thoughts on something.  And I know that this is true but I hate the thought of someone close to me not liking me.  Hate it.  Hate it.

But I hate that I feel the need for approval too.  I know that some of my close friends would just let it ride.  “So what” they would say, but for me I just don’t seem to be able to do it.

What do you do?  Can you just ride it out and wait for things to get better (if they get better)?  Any thoughts on what I should do or think?

~ Pru

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3 thoughts on “And by email – approval

  1. Pru, let go of that guilt. I have known you long enough to know of your character traits. You are a kind and thoughtful person, and you would not knowingly hurt anyone. Some people can be prone to quick anger and are opinionated. They don’t give an inch. I don’t think they realize how hurtful their actions can be to other people. If a person cannot accept your explanation and move on, that is something they themselves have to work on, not you. You can’t cure or help everybody. I have been very upset about something that recently happened in my life (I think you may know something about it). It has been eating at me, and making life miserable to the point where I can’t focus on things because I keep reexamining my actions. So today I decided to let go. To err is human and to forgive divine, If two friends can’t forgive and move on because of a petty dispute, and if one of the friends, namely you, has conducted themselves above board, let it go. It’s better than letting it eat at you. Your kindness and positive energy be put to better use elsewhere.

  2. I would be inclined to be very clear about what I did or didn’t say. Then I would simply say to myself that I did everything I could and maybe this person know me for who I am and decide that someone who thinks so poorly of me is probably not someone I want poisoning my life. Kind of harsh, but I don’t make time for people who are bad news anymore.

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