Me on ‘Pink Day’ at work in 2010.
On Monday I have my hospital appointment. I am literally counting the hours down. I was so lucky that my appointment could be made within two weeks. It can take three to four weeks for the initial appointment and I can’t imagine how it would feel to continue wondering for that long. There ups and downs to having the NHS. It’s free (which is the upside) but it can be a postcode lottery to see how your care is handled – some places don’t offer certain medications and some do. All a lottery. So far, it looks like my postcode has done well. Also, the hospitals in my area are good, the three closest have good reputations and are easy to get to. (Can you tell that I have thought a fair deal about all of this?)
The last two weeks have actually gone by quite quickly. I have had some tears and my head has been full of thoughts on how I would tell people, and what systems I would need to put in place financially if I was to be off work for any length of time. And then I realised that I was getting way ahead of myself. This could all be nothing, and by Monday afternoon I might be happily sitting back at my desk typing away and shouting to the world that there was nothing to worry about. Another upside is that the results should be in on the same day.
I also realised that whilst only a few friends know, I had put it out on the blog for anyone to read. It’s weird. I suppose that there is always a distance with blogging. No matter how close we feel to someone whose blog we read (and I feel very close to some of the people whose blogs I read) I have never met one reader of my blog who wasn’t already a friend and so if I feel rubbish one day or a bit sad I don’t have people saying ‘Are you okay?’ and that is a lovely feeling. Sometimes the distance can be pretty comforting.
That said, if the news is bad, then I will expect everyone to send me virtual soup and love and best wishes (and I am certain that you would all come through for me with that)!
I have three more days to keep myself busy. I’m out with the girls tonight, walking to Harrods with mum (7 miles) for breakfast and then to the Origins counter for products (nothing like a good dose of stress to have my skin do unkind things) and then baking and gardening and watching football. Oh and as my boss is out today, her office is going to be fully sorted out (I’ve done my desk drawers twice already).
Have a good weekend. By Monday evening I will have posted my results for you all to see. Please hope that they are all okay.
First off, there is no good title for this. I’m not witty enough. It’s the best my head could come up with.
So, last Sunday I discovered a lump. The doctor has confirmed that my mind isn’t playing tricks on me and that further investigation is needed. I have an appointment on the 22nd for the hospital to have a look and do their thing and work out what the hell is in there.
Who knows. It might be nothing. Obviously though, my head has gone to the other end of the scale, and I seem to be Googling all manner of things at the moment.
So. I don’t really sleep much, and I’m not hungry, and I’m pretty useless at the moment. My poor boss has taken to correcting my mistakes and is being very kind and lenient about my lack of ability.
Earlier I stood in M&S contemplating buying my lunch. My choice in the end wasn’t bad but all I could think of was my lump and my bed. I so want to get some sleep. Rioting (police sirens and a general sense of ‘what is that noise?’ + lump = me being very, very sleepy and pretty upset.
I think that whatever the outcome is, it will help me to prioritise the important stuff and work out my life a bit more. I’ll keep you updated. And if you would be so kind as to keep me in your thoughts until the 22nd when I find out what’s going on. The waiting is awful.
It seems like it was Friday just moments ago, but now it is already Tuesday night and I am trying to catch my breath (with the help of my new inhaler – doctor says I have mild asthma) to look back on the last few days. They certainly have been busy.
Mum and I did the Moonwalk (13.1 miles) in just over three and a half hours and we were both so pleased to cross the finish line. It also helped so much having a hotel room less than 20 minutes walk away and we were both tucked up in our beds at 4am and ready for breakfast at 8am.
I find that I always forget to take many photos when I am out at an event – truth be told, I was too busy singing and dancing and taking in the atmosphere to bother with the camera. I would much rather experience it first-hand than miss things and just look back on the photos. So really, the photos I took are the ones from Hyde Park earlier in the afternoon. And just for good measure, one from Cocomaya, a brilliant cake shop/chocolatier near Paddington.
And now, it’s Tuesday night. Home for the first evening and I am taking stock and getting sorted out. The garden has sprung up within the last week or so, and I can’t wait for the warmer weather to arrive so that I can sit outside and enjoy it more.
Have a great week. I know that I am behind on loads of projects so you won’t see me until next week, but by then I hope to be back and on track.